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Who Are Instagram's Infertility Influencers Really Helping?


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Ambiguous Loss
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Kea KrauseTo
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Crystal Clancy
Jessica Zucker
Pauline Boss
Rupi Kaur

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Positivity     41.00%   
   Negativity   59.00%
The New York Times
SOURCE: https://www.wired.com/story/mother-day-ivf-instagram-influencers
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Summary

The stigma ignites the insidious and all too pervasive shame … In turn, grievers are often met with stilted, awkward platitudes, whispered saccharine-coated sentiments, or worse, complete and utter silence.” In other words, oftentimes people have no idea what to say, so they say something subpar or don’t say anything at all.This inscrutability and grief pose distinct features that make pregnancy loss difficult to overcome. Boss writes, “The greater the ambiguity surrounding one’s loss, the more difficult it is to master it and the greater one’s depression, anxiety, and family conflict.” Without validation from our health care system, our places of work, and our friends and family who struggle to know the right thing to say, of course one of the most natural places to turn would be the internet.Most pregnancy-loss accounts are started with good intentions. Aspirational grieving sends the message that we have to make pregnancy loss pretty in order to make it acceptable.These same cultivated accounts create confusion over who or what is posting. If it’s coming from a sincere place, since it still seems like advertising, it ends up being that scanty response that both Clancy and Zucker say makes the grief even more isolating and that people should seek to avoid.This is also a function of the limitations of an Instagram post. No post could ever begin to encompass the vastness of pregnancy loss, particularly because it comes in so many iterations: chemical pregnancy, blighted ovum, missed miscarriage, complete and partial molar pregnancies—the list goes on. Grid posts that collect all the different types of pregnancy loss in an appealing graphic with icons representing variable experiences are like posters you ignore in waiting rooms.Most pregnancy-loss accounts have another glaring omission: the partners of people who were pregnant, and queer families. That people experiencing miscarriage are diverse and are not remotely represented by the largely white and largely female contingent grieving their losses online.Of course, social media has been good for pregnancy loss in some ways. But support groups have proven to be effective in several settings, largely because they do involve an exchange of ideas but also perceptual and cognitive resources like love and status—a sort of emotional mutual aid—that largely can’t be found in a static Instagram post.It’s just as easy to scroll past the post of a big, curated pregnancy-loss account as it is to ignore Ikea ad content, because nothing generalized makes you stop in your tracks.

As said here by Wired